Anesthesia Does Funny Things
by ChaRose
Summary: We find out the real reason why Yagari doesn't like hospitals. And Kaien has a little too much fun. A funny fluff idea that I had in my head. Rated T for mild swearing. One-Shot.


**Author Note: Just a fun little idea I had rolling around my head after watching Grey's Anatomy. And yes, there are some extremely mild mentions of 'Fruits Basket' ~ it just didn't warrant a official 'Crossover' title.**

 **Characters belong to Matsuri Hino. Charlotte Pilsbury belongs to me.**

 **Please Read & Review. **

**Apoligies as some parts seemed 'rushed' when writing.**

Yagari stumbled down the hallway of his home that he shared with his lover Charlotte. A bloodied hand gripped the cream walls as he struggled to keep himself standing up right. He looked over in annoyance at the bloodied handprint left on his wall. Well that's just great! As if he didn't spend enough time painting the damn house, he's going to have to paint that patch again. Of course, that would be after the gruelling time spent scrubbing as much of the bloodied stain as he could.

His other hand gripped the base of his neck where it meets the shoulder, purposefully placing pressure on the wound to try and limit how much he was bleeding. So far, it proved unsuccessful. There was too much damage.

Charlotte was in the kitchen baking a cake, a favourite hobby of hers to do, when she heard the front door open. 'He's home' a small smile graced her lips but a frown appeared at the sounds that followed after; a few minor bangs and crashes accompanied the shutting of the door.

Usually when Yagari came home, she could list in detail the routine sounds that Yagari made when he came home. The door would open, occasionally followed by the call of her name, the door would close, there would be a long loud sigh, the sound of boots being pulled off and placed by the door, and then the heavy padding of socked footsteps making their way into the main area.

But not this time. Charlotte turned placed the cake mixture that she was mixing, down on the bench, and walked out. Her eyes widened at the sight of her lover ('Boyfriend/Girlfriend' titles seemed far too childish for the two.). He was a bloody mess! "Toga! Oh my...what happened? I'm taking you to the hospital!" she gushed as she ran to his side and tried to take some of his weight on her petite frame. "Like hell you are." Came the gruff reply. Good luck getting the hunter to a hospital! Though, Yagari wouldn't have much choice in the matter.

Charlotte already had her keys and was already steering Yagari back outside to where they stumbled a little towards her car. "No, I'll make the seats all bloody!"

Yagari tried as an excuse.

"Then I'll call an ambulance." As gentle as Charlotte was, she soon learnt to argue back with Yagari. Lord knows, the man loved a good argument.

"No! They're too damn expensive."

"So let me drive you to the hospital!"

"I can drive myself. I'm injured, not crippled."

"Injured being the key word here! I'm not letting you drive in your condition. Now, please, get in the car!"

"You're so pushy." Yagari muttered, losing the argument. He had to admire Charlotte. Nothing made her angry. Annoyed – yes. Angry? In all the years he's known her, he hasn't once seen her angry. Which was why he tried to push her buttons whenever he argued with her, to try and see what triggered her anger. But like the role model teacher she was, an angry reaction was never shown from her. Just simple reasoning. With a hint of exasperation behind her words. Though when one was arguing with Yagari, exasperation was definitely one of the top 5 emotions felt. The first one being 'infuriating'.

After getting Yagari in the car, she walked around to the driver's side and placed the keys in the ignition before turning to look at him. Her worried green eyes flashed from his wound to his face. "Mind telling me what happened?" the worry seeped through her voice, she didn't mean for it to. She wanted to be strong for him, but his sudden wounded appearance took her by surprise. She always thought he was invincible. His blue eye moved from staring at nothing ahead to look into her worried ones. "You worry too much." He simply told her.

"I worry just enough." She firmly told him. "Toga, please?" she gently pressed for an answer.

He sighed softly before finally answering her. "It was an ambush. A nest."

She nodded and bit her lip as her eyes danced from his blue one to his wound. She didn't say another word, she simply turned the car on and quietly made their way down to the hospital.

"Char?" Yagari asked, not liking the silence between the two. Was she mad? If so, it was a cute kind of mad. Though he didn't dare mention this in case she truly 'was' mad.

"I don't like your job, Toga. Not because you kill vampires. But because you get hurt in the process of protecting others."

"I'm alright. I promise." He leant over and kissed her under her ear, causing a small giggle to come from her just as he hissed in pain from leaning over. Luckily it was masked by her giggle. A sound which Yagari enjoyed hearing. It was sweet. Innocent.

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I don't like the fact that you're a teacher and there are boys that get to have your undivided attention for hours during the day, but I don't complain." Yagari chuckled but winced immediately at the sudden stab of pain.

Charlotte saw him wince out of the corner of her eye but didn't say anything. They were already at the hospital.

Getting out of the car, Charlotte came over to Yagari's side and helped him out despite his grumbling.

He let her lead him in to the hospital. The moment they were in, there was gushing from a nurse who grabbed a wheelchair and urged him to sit down. "I can stand on my own! I'm not a damn invalid!" Yagari cursed the nurse, but his words backfired on him when a spell of dizziness caught him by surprise and he gripped Charlotte harder to keep himself steady.

"No you can't. Sit down!" Charlotte chastised him as she forcefully guided him to sit down.

"What happened?" the Nurse asked before Yagari could continue to argue.

"An animal attack." Charlotte quickly replied. Cold blue one met green ones in a mutual understanding. 'Good girl' Yagari thought to himself. He would have stammered around for a logical explanation. In fact, he didn't even 'think' to consider having an explanation ready. Another quality to admire about Charlotte; she always thought ahead.

"Oh dear!" the nurse said as she wheeled the hunter to a private room. "Well we can deal with the paperwork later. A doctor will be with you shortly." The Nurse was quite surprised to see how well the hunter was fairing despite his injury. Yagari stood up from the chair and moved to sit down on the hospital bed.

Moments later and the Nurse and Doctor came back. "An animal attack?" the doctor queried as he looked at the wound. Yagari muttered a small confirmation. The strength in him leaving rapidly. "You've lost a lot of blood. I'd like to operate immediately if you don't mind before we lose any more blood."

The hunter nodded as the Doctor explained about a possible 'bleeder' and all the medical jargon that went with it. He was too tired to care, so he just agreed to everything. It was the easiest and quickest way to shut every one up.

"Are you allergic to anything at all?"

"Yeah...bullshit..." Yagari answered in a hiss through an uncomfortable pain that was suddenly searing through his shoulder.

"Very well" the Doctor said tersely, knowing the patient was just talking through his anger. However, the wound did look quite nasty and the sooner they operated, the better.

The doctor turned to Charlotte, "Would you be able to complete his paperwork, Ma'am?"

Charlotte nodded, "Of course. I'd be happy to."

With that, the Doctor pushed the gurney out of the room and down to the Operating Room.

A nearby nurse guided Charlotte out, reassuring her at the sudden departure of Toga. "It's alright. He's under good hands. Doctor Sohma is one of the best surgeons around." Charlotte nodded. "How long do you think it would take?"

"A few hours, I'd dare say. He'll need an MRI done, and that can take up to an hour."

Charlotte nodded and sat down on a seat in the waiting room.

The nurse gave her the forms to fill in. "Is there anything else I can get you? A cup of tea or coffee, perhaps?"

Charlotte looked up to see the kindness of the nurse. "Oh no, that's quite alright. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? We're pretty quiet tonight, so it would be no trouble at all." The nurse reassured the lovely young lady that was patiently waiting for her boyfriend.

"Um, then perhaps tea?" Charlotte quietly asked.

"Of course." The nurse smiled and left.

Normally the nurse wouldn't bother with making visitors feel comfortable while waiting. But this particular lady had a beautiful aura about her. She was kind, and though her boyfriend was rude, she was quick to simmer his remarks down. How was it that someone so rough, could have someone so gentle?

How indeed?

Charlotte worked her way through the list of questions and details on the hospital forms. She snorted out loud at one of the questions:  
 _Do you smoke? How often?_

She didn't have to think about that answer.

The nurse brought her tea back and she gratefully wrapped her fingers around the mug of the steaming hot cup.

1 hour went by.

She thought about calling Kaien. He was Yagari's one and only best friend after all.

She sighed softly as she debated between doing it or not. Would Yagari mind? As a bestfriend, Kaien DOES have a right to know his best friends in surgery.

2 hours went by.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she dialled Kaien's number. It didn't take long for the Headmaster to pick up. "Charlotte! What a lovely surprise!" Kaien's happy voice greeted the caller.

"Kaien? I'm..at the hospital.." Charlotte's quiet voice wavered as she suddenly felt her own personal strength slip upon hearing Kaien's voice.

"Is everything alright?" he asked in a serious tone. Ever since he took Charlotte in as a Teacher at the Academy, he held a soft spot for her; particularly from her past.

"I am. But I don't think Toga is. He's in surgery."

"What happened?" Kaien's voice was concerned not only for Yagari, but for Charlotte as well. The poor woman sounded upset!

"He was on an order, when he was ambushed... I said it was an animal attack...but, oh Kaien! He lost a lot of blood!" ever so slowly, the hysteria was rising in the always-calm woman.

"I'm on my way." Kaien said firmly as he hung up the phone and made his way over to the hospital. Luckily the hospital was within walking distance of Cross Academy, so it made for a shorter trip.

Charlotte hung up and calmed herself down by complete a few breathing techniques in a subtle meditation that was taught by her Sensei Kazuma; he was her 'guardian' in her healing recovery. Her stress was always on high levels, and so he had taught her the art of meditation to calm her nerves. Every now and then she would go back and visit him, often meditating alongside him as well.

3 hours went by.

"Charlotte?" Kaien's unusually concerned voice broke through the quiet of her thoughts.

Her head snapped up. "Kaien?"

"How is he?" he asked as he walked over to her and crouched down front of her. His gentle eyes looked up to her already watery ones.

"I don't know! I'm sorry!" she clamped a hand to her mouth to stifle the sobs that were rising. But she soon found herself pressed against Kaien's shawl. His hands wrapping around her back in comfort.

"There's no need to apologise. A Hunter's job can be stressful for both parties." Kaien gently reasoned with her. He knew Yagari wasn't exactly the easiest person to deal with, and yet Charlotte handled the man with a grace of elegance.

And then an "Excuse me ma'am?" snapped Kaien and her out of their thoughts. Pulling apart, Kaien and Charlotte stood up; Charlotte quickly wiping her eyes and cheeks.

It was the doctor that was overseeing Yagari's surgery. "Were there any complications?" she quickly asked, worry always being the first thing on her mind. "No. There weren't any. He did, however, lose a lot of blood. He will be fit to go home later this evening. I cannot stress enough that he remain on light duties for the next 7 days. His body still needs time to mend."

Charlotte nodded at the information. 'Light duties'. Just how was she going to be able to convince Yagari to stay on 'light duties', the man couldn't sit still for a solid hour!

"He's still groggy from the anaesthesia, but you're more than welcome to go see him." The doctor smiled softly before standing up.

"Thank you." Charlotte said as she stood up and walked with Kaien to the hospital room that Yagari was being held in.

"Toga?" Charlotte's soft voice called out to her groggy lover. A blue eye opened and took a moment to slowly recognise who the woman was. "Char? Did you know you have the finest pair of bosoms I have ever seen in my whole entire life!?" Yagari asked her incredulously as he sat up to meet an embarrassed face.

Charlotte walked in, knowing her face was heated with sheer embarrassment. Not only at what Yagari had said, but also because Kaien was there as well.

"I see you've still got a good eye!" Kaien happily said as he walked in behind Charlotte, but stood to the opposite side of the bed.

"Don't encourage him!" she chastised Kaien gently.

Charlotte bent down to kiss Yagari but he pushed her away. "Toga-What?"

"I have a lover!" he told her, frowning at her behaviour.

"I am your lover."

"Are you?"

"Yes" she patiently said.

"Then why haven't I asked you to marry me?"

"Good question." Charlotte muttered jokingly.

Yagari turned his attention to Kaien. "You."

"Me." Kaien laughed softly. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"Weird. Like I've been alienised or something. There's colourful people everywhere!"

Yagari turned his attention to the door, expecting one of them 'colourful people' to come in (obviously referring to the nurses in their respective scrubs). "Don't let them probe me."

"I won't." Kaien said through laughter.

Yagari tilted his head back on the pillows to look at Charlotte. "Only you can probe me sweet cheeks"

"Um...thank you?" Charlotte asked, frowning slightly, not sure what to make of it. Should she be honoured that he'd chosen her? Or concerned that he expects her to 'probe' him? Either way, she was glad this was all the drugs doing.

"Hey Kaien!" Yagari threw his to the other side to look at his old friend. "Are you gay?"

"Why? Would you want me if you were gay?" Kaien asked, laughter in his voice. Oh he was having fun with a delusional Yagari.

"Would _you_ want _me_ if _I_ was gay?" Yagari challenged back, in a drunken slur. The anaesthesia obviously hitting him harder now since he was fighting sleep.

Well that certainly backfired on Kaien. He was stumped as to what to say next and Charlotte only giggled at seeing the Headmaster mentally search for an answer.

Unfortunately Yagari took his silence as offensive. "You mean you won't like me? Ever?"

"Of course I like you Toga." Kaien quickly said, hoping he didn't have to explain himself any further.

"Really?"

"Really. Really." The retired hunter smiled softly.

"Even though I've lost my eye?" Yagari asked innocently, brokenness evident in his voice.

"Of course. Why would you think I wouldn't? Charlotte loves you even though you're missing an eye." Kaien kindly told the one-eyed hunter, the laughter dying from his face as he saw the emotions flood over Yagari.

Charlotte tensely watched her lover in his confused state of mind. He was lying, vulnerable, on the hospital bed. His emotions out in the open for everyone to see. Luckily it was just the two with him. Anyone else, and it would have given Yagari's pride a nose dive.

Yagari didn't answer him, but instead focused his attention on the blankets. "It was my fault, you know? I failed Zero. And Ichiru. Two of the most beautiful children, and I failed them. Their parent's death is on my hands."

"It wasn't your fault." Kaien firmly said to the broken hunter. His heart broke for his friend. He couldn't recall a time when he ever saw Yagari cry. And yet, the gruff hunter's good eye was already moistening with unshed tears.

Charlotte, on the other hand, had seen him a few times at his worse. He suffers frequent night terrors and has a few emotional troubles that he's unsure on how to deal with. But she's never seen him this broken before. Her own tears fell down her face as she took his hands in hers and gently told him, "Zero and Ichiru are alive because of you. They're always grateful to have you in their lives."

Charlotte knew of how Toga saved the twins against a Level E, who later, happened to be his fiancée. And she knew that Zero looked up to Toga as a father figure.

Yagari looked up to her and frowned, "Why is a beautiful woman like you crying?"

 _'_ _Because you sacrifice your life to protect others, and yet you continue to suffer the consequences silently; you suffer so much more than you have to'_ Charlotte thought to herself but didn't say anything. She smiled through her tears. "I'm not crying. I'm happy. See?" she smiled brightly.

"You have nice boobies. I don't have boobies." Toga, rather childishly, said to Charlotte, who once again, cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

Kaien stifled his laughter once more. "Do you want boobies, Toga?"

"No! They're for girls!" Yagari pouted as his eyes began to droop with the anaesthesia finally catching up on him.

"Why don't you go to sleep Toga?" Charlotte softly suggested, glad that the conversation moved from his burden. She knew he still carried a deep guilt over his past; losing his first fiancée, his best friends (Zero's parents), and not saving them in time. She just didn't expect him to openly talk about it; but then again, anaesthesia does funny things.

"I don't want to." Came the childish response.

"We'll be here, when you wake up. I promise." Charlotte gently said as she placed a hand on his forehead, and gently caressed his raven hair.

"'Mkay..." Yagari muttered as he finally succumbed the exhaustion that had been threatening to take over his body.

Charlotte and Kaien watched as the gruff hunter slept the anaesthesia off. She sighed and placed her head on the bed.

"He won't remember what he said." Kaien quietly offered some sort of consolation.

"I know...It's just..." she lifted her head and looked at her lover tenderly before looking over at Kaien. "I don't like seeing him weak."

"He doesn't like being weak either..."

"You seemed to enjoy it though."

"Hey! This is payback for all those times he annoys me!" Kaien pouted before sighing softly.

Kaien took a seat in the corner of the room as he watched over Charlotte and Toga. He watched the way she was always gentle with him; the way she spoke, the way she touched him...it was all gentle. And right now, the gruff Hunter needed a reminder in his life of the beauty that is often overseen in this dark world of supernatural.

Tearing his eyes away, he stared outside and smiled softly to himself.

Charlotte spent her the rest of the time watching over Toga. He was resting peacefully now, and that was all she could hope for. Hours went by and Kaien had fallen asleep under the warmth of the rays sun. Charlotte was starting to droop but Yagari's voice pulled her out of her drowsy state.

"Char?" he asked through a hoarse voice.

She snapped her head up and peered into his eye, "Toga? You're awake! How are you feeling?"

"I feel like crap. Why the hell did I agree to visit this place full of quacks!?" he grumbled.

"I saved your butt, buddy! The least you could do is thank me."

He smirked up at her annoyed features. "Come here and let me thank you properly."

She smiled softly and happily obliged. Pressing her lips softly against his.

He felt her lips against his, and he lifted a hand to entangle in her hair as he kissed her back passionately.

Kaien opened his eyes and saw Yagari kissing Charlotte. A tender moment between two lovers. He smiled softly, all was not lost on Yagari.

But their kiss was interrupted by a nurse. "Oh Mr Yagari. You're awake! Good. How are you feeling?

Charlotte quickly pulled away and sat back down on her chair.

"Like crap. When can I get the hell out of here?"

The nurse smiled. "That is only to be expected. You did go through surgery after all. Now you are to remain on light duties for the next 7 days. And changed the bandages on your neck every night unless you want your wound to become infected."

"Right. So when can I go?"

"Now, if you'd like." The nurse smiled and left.

Now out of the hospital and on the way home, Kaien sat in the back with Yagari in front and Charlotte driving. Yagari glanced at the rear-view mirror and sighed. "What the hell are you smiling about?" Yagari growled out to a smiling Kaien.

Kaien tried so hard to not to laugh, but seeing Yagari back to his usual grumpy self, he couldn't help it.

"I didn't say anything stupid while I was out?"

"No. Nothing." Kaien quickly lied.

Yagari turned to look at Charlotte. "Charlotte Pilsbury. Tell me what crap did I talk?"

"Well...you told everyone I had the best breasts. You asked me why we weren't married."

"Christ, I'm sorry." Yagari quickly apoligised.

"No it's okay. I tried to kiss you and you stopped me because you thought I was someone else. You told me you already had a lover...so I forgive you."

Yagari sat back in his seat, his shoulders visibly relaxing, glad he didn't say anything stupid.

"And you asked me to probe you."

"WHAT?" Yagari roared in disbelief.

Kaien was laughing too hard by now. "Should I tell him that he had the hots for me?" he purposefully said aloud.

"Screw you, Cross." Yagari grumbled, whilst Charlotte and Kaien giggled the rest of the drive home.


End file.
